Construction Dictionary, reprinted from CMAA Journal
Contractor: A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal.
Bid Opening: A poker game in which the losing hand wins.
Bid: A wild guess carried out to two decimal places.
Low Bidder: A contractor who is wondering what he left out.
Project Manager's Estimate: The cost of construction in heaven.
Project Manager: The conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is in a different union.
Critical Path Method: A management technique for losing your shirt under perfect control.
OSHA: A protective coating made by half-baking a mixture of fine print, red tape, split hairs and
baloney, usually applied at random with a shotgun.
Strike: An effort to increase egg production by strangling the chicken.
Completion Date: The point at which liquidated damages begin.
Auditor: People who go in after the war is lost and bayonet the wounded.
Lawyer: People who go in after the auditors and strip the bodies.